Mess

the ideal is to be clean, disinfected, orderly, everything in its place
the day plotted, schedules aligned, everything accounted for
even 'travelling time'
    
the battle begins fresh each day, 
  promising
    
and then, inevitably
  casualties 
    
the kids rise before us and litter the floor with their imaginations
now I'm scrambling, trying to put together 
a day that falls into 
  chaos
    confusion
   scattered intention
     'traveling time' now lost to 'cleaning up after' time
    
sanctuary defiled
    
the worry makes it fall apart quicker
the stress of fighting to regain my ideal
  destroys hope
    destroys goodness
      destroys joy in my children and their messy imaginations
    
it is a worthy project to start the day with intention
but at some point that intention needs to give way to 
    
love
    
compassion
    
    patience
    
understanding
    
time to sit with people and
  despite it all
to be present in the mess

#tbt: An Origin Story

Almost none of my highschool or pre-highschool artwork has survived the decades. Unless my mom has something stashed away somewhere, which is highly likely.

Yet, somehow this image of a pencil crayon sketch (my medium of choice 22 years ago) of Pimple of Battletoads fame has survived by way of my hard drive.

Back in Time Just a Little Bit More...

If I could somehow track down my original sketchbook from Grade Three I would be smiling for many a day. My Grade Three teacher tired of me continually doodling on every piece of paper on my desk. She called me up to her desk one day and presented me with a home-made book of blank drawing pages. Hoping to prevent me from filling every inch of my class work with doodles, she told me that whenever I was finished my classwork ahead of time I could ask to draw in this book. Instant love!

I had no idea that such a thing existed! A book full of blank pages for me to draw in? Unbelievable!

And just like that art went from being the itching in my bored fingers to a skill that I could picture myself working on for the rest of my life.

So that is a portion of my origin story. I'm sure that in the future more will be illuminated from the perspective of alternate universes and the such.